Oh, No! Not again....

| | Comments (29)

Don't tempt fate. She doesn't have much of a sense of humor. Last week Dani was eating ice cream (a common dietary staple) when she started to cry. This escalated into screaming, vomiting, then I watched my baby stop breathing and turn blue. She was unresponsive. My mom shouted for somebody to call 911 while I held Dani and puffed into her little mouth. She would begin to cry again and then turn blue and unresponsive once more. I would puff into her little face. She would come to. This cycle of terror lasted about 5 or 10 minutes until the paramedics came. I was terrified. The whole time, I thought "Yep. Of course. OF COURSE." I was also looking around for Bryce--wouldn't you think that time was appropriate to make a drop-in? The paramedics gave her oxygen and ran a blood test. She pinked up and was quite happy. "Hi! Hiyeeeeee!" She waved to the team. We were taken by ambulance to a nearby hospital, who took x-rays and kept her for observation. The diagnosis? Nothing. She didn't choke, seize, nor was she allergic to anything. It may have been brain freeze (ouch!), but nobody knows for sure.

Dani's home and doing great. Luckily she's too young to remember traumatic experiences. I came out of it with more damage than she did. Thank you to the family who was right there to call 911, give my baby a blessing and follow us to the hospital. Thank you to the friends who came to the ER to make sure we were OK. You are wonderful people. We love you!

Things here are slow, monotonous and a bit lonely. Every day I try to find a way to occupy Dani while I get some work done, which ends up as playtime for both of us on the floor. Nights are the only time I can work. That's OK, because I still don't sleep very much. .

29 Comments So Far!

On Monday, February 11, 2008 at 11:31 AM
Tiffany said:

Bless your heart! What a scary experience. I'm glad Dani is ok. I know you don't know me, but you are in my thoughts and prayers frequently. May God continue to bless you and buoy you up in your sorrow and grief. Much love

On Monday, February 11, 2008 at 11:56 AM
Beverly said:

Tammy - What a tremendous blessing. That must have been a terrifying experience!!!
We had a similar one experience when our yougest was not even a year old. While I was changing him, he was given a life saver that stuck in his throat. And this "baby" told me Saturday he was blessed again to have his life saved.

All my love, Aunt B.

On Monday, February 11, 2008 at 12:26 PM
Elaine Miles said:

Tammy - I am so glad that Dani is okay. What a blessing that your mom (and others)was close by to help you. I continue to pray for your comfort and that blessings will come your way. We love you so much. Love, Aunt Elaine

On Monday, February 11, 2008 at 1:15 PM
Sharie said:

You poor thing, I can't even imagine. I am glad she is okay. I am sure it was very scary. Still praying for you.

On Monday, February 11, 2008 at 2:58 PM
Cassie Briggs said:

OH MY GOSH!!! I am so glad she is okay!! I have never had anything like that happen to one of my girls, but I don't even want to imagine what it is like. Give Dani a big kiss and a hug for us! I am sure her daddy was watching over her every minute keeping her safe. We love you guys!

Love,
Cassie

On Monday, February 11, 2008 at 3:07 PM
Emilia said:

Hi Tammy!

I got scared when reading your last entry and almost didn't want to read the whole thing. So glad everything turned out fine.

We actually had a similar experience with our oldest son ten years ago. We got so scared - they ran all these different tests but found nothing. Then it happened again and again and finally we got used to it. When asking the doctors again, they said these "cramps" probably had to do with our sons personality. When he got angry or had some other strong affection (I'm sorry about my bad english...), especially when he was tired, he would stop breathing until he got unconscious. But after a couple of years he didn't do this any more. It was scary, especially the first times, but really nothing to worry about (even if it looked like he was going to choke). Maybe Dani has something similar.

I so think about you Tammy and pray for you.

Love, Emilia

On Monday, February 11, 2008 at 4:15 PM
Brittani Martin said:

What a SCARE! Oh Tammy, I'm so sorry. I'm sure that shook you up more than any of us could relate to. I am so glad that everything is ok with Dani now. With everyone praying so hard for you two, it's no surprise that it turned out ok. Enjoy your time with Dani, as I'm sure you do. What a huge blessing she is for you right now. You are so lucky to have a family that has stayed close and surrounded you. We pray for you always!

Brittani

On Monday, February 11, 2008 at 4:48 PM
Maureen (wife of Geoff, Stage iv) said:

Tammy,
I think of you often and wonder how you are doing. Thanks for keeping us posted on your blog. I know you are doing the best you can and hope all those wonderful memories of Bryce comfort you in those wee hours of the morning...and always, take care, keep us posted.
We are still fighting this horrible disease, it is so hard, I know you know!
Take care
Maureen

On Monday, February 11, 2008 at 8:55 PM
Dr. Handsomestein said:

Tammy,
You need to stop having so many adventures. I'm starting to think that you spend more time at the hospital than I do. Trisa and I are glad that Dani is okay. Cannon would hate to lose his bride before the big wedding day. She is such a cutie pie. Take care and keep in touch. We think about you guys a lot.
DH
PS. Late nights are not for working, they are for plotting your hostile takeover of the world. It starts with a good song.

On Monday, February 11, 2008 at 10:07 PM
Ali Anderson said:

Hi Tammy
OOOH how scary. Glad to know Dani is ok. How are you? Wed. it will be 3 mon. ago that Cody passed. I am still waiting for him to walk through the door or call me.I just wait for anything that I am used to him doing. I guess I must think he is away, and he'll be back. Then it will hit me, Ali he is gone. I hate reality. Last week a telemarketer called and asked "May I speak with Cody?" I said "I wish you could, if you can find a # for him let me know he died" they surely didn't want to keep talking and quickly hung up. Once again REALITY HITS.
I want you to know I check your blog daily and look forward to reading any new posts. I think about you daily. I don't want to be a pest but call me if you would like to talk.... No sleeping at this house yet either. Once again my emai is aliandkids1@hotmail.com.
Take care and know can always lend an ear and a shoulder to cry on.
Ali

On Tuesday, February 12, 2008 at 1:12 AM
Leslie said:

it was so great to talk to you finally the other day. it is amazing how i don't feel quite so lonely in the world ever since i learned about the nightmare you are living right along with me. even though we don't know each other... you could probably finish nearly every sentence that comes out of my mouth when it comes to what i am feeling... and vice versa.
this experience you had with your daughter is one that i have thought about happening in my life as well. hopefully, Heavenly Father knows how much we need our little ones to help us through this nightmare of losing our husbands. i am so glad your baby is okay.
thanks again for helping me feel not quite so alone in this world.
-leslie *

On Tuesday, February 12, 2008 at 1:19 AM
Jenni said:

I am so thankful that Dani is fine. How scary for you. Tye had a seizure back in October when his fever spiked. I had brought him in the house from the doctor's office with just chest congestion, and I was trying to get Brian in the house. I got him to the bottom of the steps and he was resting. I ran up to check on Tye and he was seizing. I freaked out. My whole life flashed in front of me, and I thought, surely God isn't going to take him from me too. My dad happened to be there, and I just yelled for him to call 911. The whole time, Brian was downstairs trying to figure out what was happening and very scared. My head knew this was a seizure from a high fever, but he was turning blue and not responding, and it was the scariest thing that has ever happened to me. So when someone was trying to drop off dinner, the ambulance was pulling away from our house with me and Tye. Everyone on our block thought the ambulance had come for Brian. I still can't believe that happened.

I am sure Bryce was right there with you when it was all happening. I know you feel blessed to have your family with you, and you can draw strength from them.

I check on you often. I know you must be numb, trying to pick up the pieces. Brian is in hospice now, and our days are spent trying to enjoy each moment. I read your blog everyday while Bryce was sick, and I took that from you. You always seemed to set things aside and just enjoy Bryce and Dani as much as you could and let everything else be not so important. When I let the housework go or seemingly get nothing done but cuddle and chat, I think of you. I don't sleep much either, I think I'm in shock that this is happening to our wonderful family. I'll say some extra prayers for you to get some rest.

Please know that you are thought of often.
Jenni, wife of Brian, stage IV melanoma

On Tuesday, February 12, 2008 at 7:56 AM
Barbara Stevens said:

Hey Tammy,

Just when you thought you were numb..... what a way to get the blood going! :)

I am thrilled Dani is doing well. Something similar happened to one of my kids when they were about 1 1/2. It turned out his adnoids were enlarged and he later got a tonscillectomy about a month later. The next time you see an ear, nose, and throat specialist, it wouldn't hurt to check it out. He turned purple too. I remember thinking "this can't be happening!"

Life will eventually calm down and you won't be on a first name basis at the hospitals.... it will get better...

Love you,
Barbara

On Tuesday, February 12, 2008 at 9:31 PM
Nathan said:

Tammy,
That must have been so scary! This past weekend, while Suz and I were in OH, Kye got really sick and was vomiting and had diariah for a few days. He started becoming really lathargic and his temperature started going up. I was really worried and we almost took him to the hospital. Luckily we got some pedialyte in him and he started to perk up. The motrin got the temperature down and from then on it has just been maintanence. I am so glad things worked out ok for Dani and that she pulled through with a smile on her face. We love you tons.

Nathan and Suzie

On Wednesday, February 13, 2008 at 9:28 AM
Roni said:

Tammy
Just wanted to say hi and that Im still thinking of you all. I am glad I got to see you and Dani. Glad to know everything is ok and hope we can karaoke soon!!!!

Love ya!!!
Roni

On Wednesday, February 13, 2008 at 12:55 PM
Tami Peterson said:

Oh my goodness! That is soo crazy! I hope all is well with her. I couldn't help but smile at the thought of her telling the paramedics hiyeee...that's so cute. She's a little doll. I could just pinch her little cheeks! I hear you on the loneliness...it can get pretty unbearable sometimes. I just wish there was something I could do for you and your cute little family! Hang in there, girl.

Tami

On Wednesday, February 13, 2008 at 7:53 PM
Neighbor said:

And so why didn't you tell me of this little adventure the other night? Hope everything is better and ok. Always good to see and talk to you.

On Thursday, February 14, 2008 at 8:21 AM
The Dogs Next Door said:

DANI! We are glad you are doing great. Don't scare your mom like that. When the weather gets warmer (when? this year?), come over any play tug-o-war & fetch with us. We miss you. Stay warm.
Love,
K9 Rolf & Tillie (the Pug)

On Saturday, February 16, 2008 at 12:13 PM
Christine Uporsky said:

Hi Tammy,
Oh my gosh!!!! I grabbed my chest while reading your post and started to cry and then thanked GOD to see that Dani was okay!!! I always think about you to girls and send you little text messages and hope you get them when I do!! I want you to know how much I love you and that I am here if you need anything. I am wearing the coin everday and fighting harder than ever right now to keep this beast from getting me!! I know you know what I mean.
Love you lots babe!!
Your friend,
Christine Uporsky
Stage IV Malignant Melanoma

On Saturday, February 16, 2008 at 11:10 PM
Laura said:

Tammy,
I haven't been reading your blogs because I didn't know you were still keeping up with it. I've been sitting here in tears, feeling your pain that you so exquisitely described. You are so incredible and wonderful.
I know what I have gone through this past year can in no way compare to your trauma, but may I share something that got me through the nights and was like a miracle to me. I read the words of Jesus Christ every single day, they had power in them to heal. How can this be true? They were words on a page. I cannot explain it but it was as if the Healer's touch came through the printed words. He is the Peacegiver, the Master's of our souls. He felt it all and knows what you are facing. Have faith in Him, bathe yourself in His loving words. Thank you for sharing your life.
Love,
Laura O.

On Tuesday, February 19, 2008 at 10:58 AM
Andrea said:

I haven't read your words for quite a while. As always, you are inspirational. Yes, I sob everytime I read your words, but they are always so beautifully written and real. Thank you for sharing.
LOVE YOU!

On Tuesday, February 19, 2008 at 6:00 PM
Maria Schellhardt said:

Tammy,

I am very happy that your daughter is okay, but I also have another reason for sending you a message.

Most importantly, I want to tell you how sorry I am for the loss of your wonderful husband to this deadly disease. Unfortunately losing a loved one to melanoma is something we have in common.

My name is Maria Schellhardt and I am a high school history teacher in St. Louis, MO. I lost my mom to melanoma on June 21, 2007. I have been following the stories of many fighters and angels on MPIP, including your blog for Bryce, who actually went to heaven on my mom's birthday. She would've been 66. I am 30 and one of eight children.

On March 7, I will be educating the students of my school about this deadly disease, and I was hoping to include parts of Bryce's story - in hopes of saving the lives of others.

I wanted to contact you for permission to do this. I am devastated by the loss of my mom, but I am trying to do something positive by sharing my knowledge of this deadly disease with as many people as possible.

Thank you for your consideration. If you'd like to read about our mom, please visit www.ourmominc.com.

Thanks again,
Maria Schellhardt

On Saturday, March 8, 2008 at 9:01 PM
Jaclyn England said:

Tammy

Where are you? We have all been missing your posts and worrying about you. Please let us know how you're doing when you get a chance. I think about you daily and pray for your happiness (and that Dani doesn't get any more brain freezes). You are such a courageous person and have touched more lives in the past year than most people would in 2 lifetimes. I can't believe how many people I have run into that ask me how I know you because they have been following your story, people you have never met but whose lives you have touched. You have taught us all to be better people and appreciate live more. You're incredible. Hang in there!

On Sunday, March 9, 2008 at 4:54 PM
Barbara Stevens said:

Hi Tammy,

I received an email a while back and I really think I need to post it here. It is a testimony to me of what influence this blog has on people's lives and what a help it is to those who are still suffering.
********************************
"I'm the mother of one of Tammy's neighbors. I discovered her blog thru their links. It's late and I was just surfing thru the various wonderful blogs of their friends, and happened upon hers - which led me to your letter. My son had told me months ago about their battle, and I heart went out to them. How could I know , however, that someday I would feel inextricably linked to all of you.

I cannot tell you how grateful I am for people that donate platelets. I never realized what a production it was - I just figured it was as simple as a regular blood donation.

In the fall, our son who is multi disabled and medically fragile began massive stomach and other internal bleeding. It went on for almost a week, and he was very close to death. He receieved five or six units of whole blood and 4 or 5 of platelets. He pulled thru, and after a few other problems, he has enjoyed relative stabitlity for 3 months.
Due to his underlying problems, stable is always relative to whether we are in or out of the hospital...but I know that these selfless donations gave him a chance to continue his enjoying his life as fully as possible.

Thank you , please tell all your friends thank you. It is truly a gift of love and received as that. You are all ministering angels. Lisa Lee"
*************************************

I recently donated blood, so I can't donate platelets yet. But, after this letter I can't help but not when the time is right. The University now has me in their system and in another month or so I will be able to do it for the first time.

So, again, anyone who would like to join me, contact me and we'll go.
www.teachersfocus@aol.com

Barbara

On Wednesday, March 12, 2008 at 2:08 PM
Roni said:

Hey!!!
I just wanted to say hi and hope you are alright. I havent heard anything in a while so I hope you are ok. Give Dani a squeeze!!!

Love ya!!

Roni

On Friday, March 14, 2008 at 12:30 AM
john and em said:

Hey,
We just wanted to say hi and hope to see you and Danni soon.
love,
John and Emily

On Friday, March 21, 2008 at 2:16 PM
wendy Lakey said:

Tammy and Dani,
Hope your Easter is Fun! Love you tons. Give the rest of your family hugs and happy wishes from me.
Love, Aunt Wendy

On Saturday, March 22, 2008 at 11:04 PM
Kimberly said:

Hi Tammy. Just thinking of you as another holiday approaches. I know how difficult these special days can be. Sending thoughts and prayers.

Kimberly

On Tuesday, March 25, 2008 at 5:13 PM
ashlan said:

I just wanted to let you know that we still think of you everyday...I even try to donate blood every once in a while but they still haven't wanted my blood yet...How much iron does one body need, I seem to feel fine even though they think I shouldn't be able to get out of bed because its so low... I hope you had a great Easter.

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