Week In A Fog

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Cemetery

Where do I start? Bryce died last Thursday and I haven’t stopped long enough to feel the loss. He’s just gone. I keep expecting him to call, “Baby, where are you?” I honestly expected to feel him, but I just feel numb. Dani is happy, giggly and starting to crawl. She has been surrounded by people who are happy to play with her, so she’s in high spirits. Thank goodness.

The day after Bryce passed, we met with the mortuary to arrange the funeral program, select a casket, and choose the flowers. Definitely not something I expected to do for my Bryce, and especially not at 32. I selected a brushed stainless steel casket with pinstriping, which Bryce would have chosen for himself. The rest of the day (as well as the past week) was a fog.

During this time, many friends descended upon my home to organize, do laundry, put some of Bryce’s things away, and condense ALL of my furniture and belongings into two rooms. New carpet and paint will be put in sometime next week, as Bryce’s illness took a huge toll on our flooring. Thank you to everyone who sacrificed part of their weekend to serve.

Throngs of relatives came to pay their respects, support our families, and show their love. I have a large extended family located all over the country, and I think most of them came. Another family, my AlloSource family, showed up en masse from near and far to support me as well. That outpouring of love has been humbling, invigorating and definitely added some cheer to this horrific week. I wish I could have spent time with each of you, but my thoughts and energy have been muddled and spread too thin. Go figure.

I have decided that staying busy is the only way to go. I have been very busy, taking care of funeral arrangements, mothering Dani, visiting with relatives and friends, writing the obituary, and running errands. Dani and I attended church on Sunday, which was therapeutic due to so many friends surrounding us with love and support. Dani scored a lollipop (huge mess), I was able to see my beloved Young Women (my Sunday School class that I teach, FYI), and I received much-needed counsel from my friend, Bishop Beattie. I can’t believe that at one time I thought church was pointless.

The viewing was nice—a lot of family and friends came to pay their respects. Bryce looked good, and I owe that to Barry, who cared about Bryce and lovingly took care of his body. I have always felt weird about viewings, but this was different. The ravages of disease that took such a toll on Bryce seemed to have been reversed. He looked peaceful and normal. The room was full of flowers—it took us a long time to read all the cards and admire the arrangements. Thank you to everybody who sent cards and flowers!

Bryce’s funeral was the most amazing experience. About 700 people showed up, leaving standing room only! My brothers Scott and Nic offered beautiful prayers, our dads Roger and Dan, and good friends Bob and John delivered moving and eloquent talks, and about 40 members of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir filled the large chapel with beautiful music. My Sunday School girls sang also, which turned into a sob-fest. I loved it. The funeral lasted two hours, and none of it was boring. I tried to check out the crowd, but it was hard to see who was there—as I said, I have been in a fog. As we followed the casket outside (I'm sure the pallbearers were glad Bryce lost all that weight--you guys must have one longer arm today ;) to the vehicles, Nic sped around the corner with a SWEET new Porsche in which to transport me to the cemetery. How he scored the use of that car for the day, I’ll never know. It was fitting, as Bryce was a Porsche fanatic. We like to think Bryce was in there with us, saying, “Come on—let’s see what this baby can do!” (Incidentally, we saw what that baby could do after the burial. That car rocks.) Bryce was buried on the hillside, close to his younger brother Brian. Brady dedicated the grave with a beautiful prayer. The weather was perfect, the flowers were beautiful, and many people honored Bryce’s fight by laying their “We’re Killing Cancer” wristbands on the casket. I also saw a few of the wristbands decorating several headstones around the cemetery. It made me sick to think Bryce was caged up in the casket and would be under the ground. I hated it. I have already been back twice (that was only two days ago!!!) to visit Bryce and make sure Halloween vandals didn’t mess with the burial site. Ohhhh…could you imagine…

There’s a brief update on the past week. As I have mentioned, my story is just beginning. I will keep up this website as long as people read it. I now have a different purpose, one which will require a lot of energy and guidance--that of a single mom, and cancer warrior. I’ll need all your support!

Remember to check out www.100daysoflove.blogspot.com and rise to the challenge!

WE’RE KILLING CANCER!!!!!!

I love you, Brycey.

47 Comments So Far!

On Thursday, November 1, 2007 at 11:35 AM
Jessica said:

Wow. I have spent the entire morning reading every single word of your blog. You're sister Steff and I went to BHS at the same time, and I'm pretty sure our moms know eachother as we used to live in the Mueller Park Stake. I however have never met you, but admire you so much. Bryce sounds like an incredible person, and you Tammy are incredible as well. I am in awe of the strength you have, and it has inspired me to do more with my life. Thank you.

P.S.I read that you will be re-painting your house, please let me know if you need help as I have some expirience with that.

On Thursday, November 1, 2007 at 11:44 AM
Carrie said:

Your strength and beauty in the face of this adversity amaze and inspire me.

On Thursday, November 1, 2007 at 11:50 AM
Christine Uporsky said:

My dearest Tammy,
I am so sorry that I wasn't able to fly out and be there with you. It sounds like you had many people to catch to tears. I have my phone in my hands every second if you need to call me!! I keep in on the pillow next to me in case you call me at night. I am thinking about you ALL the time my friend!!!I can't wait for us to meet up so I can give you the biggest hug ever!!! When you go to visit Bryce again let him know that I have been in touch with Lisa Newcomb from the Melanoma Foundation and I am starting the Prom Pledge here in the high schools. Soon I will be going into the classrooms to talk to the students about the dangers of using tanning beds and sending them home with a contract for them and their parents to sign promising to NOT USE TANNING BEDS and once they return them to the Melanoma Foundation they will be mailed a gift certificate from one of our local salon's to use for the day of their prom to get their hair or nails done. I am excited to be doing this. So you let my friend know that I am doing this and I know that he will be right there with me supporting me.

On Thursday, November 1, 2007 at 12:05 PM
Eric said:

Tammy,

Today we honored Bryce at our hospice memorial service. I told his story and it helped to warn people against the dangerous reality of melanoma. Thank you for allowing your pain to aid in prevention for others. We are all thinking of you and your family.

Eric

On Thursday, November 1, 2007 at 12:36 PM
Cidne said:

Tammy,
I admire your loving nature, your strength, your resolve to be a better person. Your challenge to do more and love more reminds me of one of my favorite sentences from literature:

"Then weave thy chaplet of flowers, and strew the beauties of nature about the grave; console thy broken spirit, if thou canst, with these tender, yet futile tributes of regret;--but take warning by the bitterness of this thy contrite affliction over the dead, and henceforth be more faithful and affectionate in the discharge of thy duties to the living."
("Rural Funerals" by Washington Irving)

Thank you to you and Bryce for renewing my resolve to be "more faithful and affectionate in the discharge of [my] duties to the living."

Much love,
Cidne Orchard

On Thursday, November 1, 2007 at 1:05 PM
Anonymous said:

My dear Tammy,

You are the most amazing, sweet, kind lady I have ever known. Wish we all had your courage!

The funeral was outstanding and so very touching. Wish we could listen to it again.
We think of you, Danika and both families constantly!

I love all of you and pray for you!!

Aunt BBW

On Thursday, November 1, 2007 at 2:32 PM
The Kirby's said:

Tammy - I commented the first day I visited your site and couldn't figure out a comment to post everyday I get on this site. Today I figured out what I want to say ... you are my inspiration - you make me grateful for what I have. Everyday I read this and I realize what you are going thru and you remain happy, grateful and full of love - it makes me realize that I need to be happy, grateful and full of love no matter what comes my way. I stop myself before I get angry because a chore wasn't done by my husband, I realize now (because of you and this "story") that there are bigger things in life...

Althought my husband and I have never meet you, we feel like we know you (like all the others on here) and we want you to keep this site going - we check it first thing every morning.

We are astounded by your faith and love - thank you for making me realize what I have.

I know that Bryce felt the same way about you and is SO proud of who you are and how you handled this situation. Dani is VERY lucky to have you as her mom.

Please let us know if there is anything we can do here in Michigan to help you. God bless.

On Thursday, November 1, 2007 at 2:49 PM
Adrianne said:

Tammy,
I am a friend of Christy Avis. She showed me this blog several weeks ago and I have been checking it regularly since then.
I'm getting married in two weeks and as I'm sure you know, that means I'm very emotional. I bawled my eyes out when I ready your post announcing Bryce's death.
Not only is it incredibly sad already, but being about to embark on marriage, makes your story extra tender to me.
I can't imagine what you are going through. I try to think of how I would handle it if it were me in your situation. To lose someone you love so much, and to still keep on trucking. Can I just say that you are my HERO?!
Here is the great thing: Families ARE Forever! I am so excited to marry the man I love and have him forever no matter what happens in our mortal lives as long as we live right. What an amazing thing.
You'll be with Bryce again. There won't be any cancer. You'll be young and have eternal happiness. It's awesome. Live for that day.
Really, you are my hero. Keep going.
Good luck!!!!!!!!!

Adrianne

On Thursday, November 1, 2007 at 2:56 PM
Sally B. said:

Dear Tammy,
Thank you for the challenge to be better. I have several people on my to-do list that I need to thank. Now will be the time to reach out to them.

You're being prayed for in the Bismarck North Dakota Temple. That's all the temples in the U.S. and Canada as well as 8 other international temples. We all love you. We all want your life to go on healing. Mom and I will keep you in our prayers.
Love,
Marian and Sally
P.S. The chicken suit is delightful!


On Thursday, November 1, 2007 at 5:25 PM
teri said:

You are an amazing woman. I do not know you- but aspire to have your grace, poise and obvious love for others. Your incredible love for your sweet husband will be remembered by me and the others who read this site forever.

May we have just an ounce of that love to give....what a difference it would make.

teri

On Thursday, November 1, 2007 at 5:29 PM
Autumn said:

there aren't words to explain what you are going through Tammy. Or how you feel everyday, but every time i think of you and Bryce i thank God i have Ryan and i realize how time goes by and you can take it for granted. I tell my husband how much i love him and how much i appreciate him. I am so sorry for your loss, every time i see dani i think she looks so much like her daddy. if you ever just want to get out and do something call me i will come to your rescue! and bryce will always be with you watching over you and dani.

On Thursday, November 1, 2007 at 5:39 PM
Nathan Sellers said:

Tammy,
You are wonderful! I love to read your words and fill the inspiration of a transformed soul. Thank you for your inspiration and for promoting 100 Days of Love. I love your guts... thanks for being a wonderful cousin.

Nathan

On Thursday, November 1, 2007 at 5:51 PM
Mindi said:

Tammy, I don't know if you got the e-mail I left at the mortuary site or not, but I wanted you to know that I created a memorial for Bryce at Find A Grave. You can find his site here or you can just go to www.findagrave.com and type in his name in the search. I don't know you, but I've been so inspired by your story and your continued vow to spread the message about melanoma. I hope a lot of people read the story of your family and the message it contains. However, if you don't like the memorial or would like me to remove it, just e-mail and me and I will. I've been praying for you and Dani since I read your story and I know you have the strength and tenacity it will take to carry on. To have had such a wonderful marriage and such a beautiful daughter is indeed a blessing, and the older you get the more apparent it will become to you. I pray that you continue to have your needs met. What a great blessing to know that someday you will be reunited with your sweetheart and nothing will be able to separate you! Keep fighting the good fight!

On Thursday, November 1, 2007 at 5:53 PM
Mindi said:

PS - I love the chicken suit! You inspire me!

On Thursday, November 1, 2007 at 6:28 PM
Barbara Stevens said:

Tammy,

I look forward to your words; they are inspiring. The funeral was beautiful. I am still amazed at the eloquence of your dads' talks at such a trying time. The only way to describe it was that the funeral was a "feast". Rachelle and Rebecca were surprised at how long the funeral was because they didn't realize it. They said it was funny, sad, and good all at the same time. Alan said it was the best funeral he has ever attended and we all felt the powerful, peaceful spirit.
It was healing.

I am grateful for the candor of the talks and how it helped me to "know" Bryce better and understand how he developed the compassion and patience he seemed to possess naturally. It is quite interesting that many of the most compassionate people in the world became that way in part from the many trials they have endured in their lives. It is a gift they have worked at and Bryce was no exception.

I appreciated the comments made by Bryce's dad about how he not only didn't know the answers to the questions in raising Bryce, but he wasn't sure of what the questions were anymore! On a very deep, personal level, that comment was healing to me. Both the Brown and Sellers families seem to have a gift for humility in being able to relate to others' situations and not pass unrighteous judgment.

Through these blogs I have felt a sense of community that is sometimes lacking in other forms. Perhaps people are more willing to expose themselves in an electronic form. But, for whatever the reason, the realization that "we are all in this together" comes through crystal clear via this forum. How ironic that there are some who consider technology to be cold and impersonal.

I was so afraid to see Bryce in the hospital that first time. I had enough experience with tragedy and I honestly didn't feel comfortable going to see someone whom I thought was going to die within a couple of days. I pushed back my personal feelings and came. Although it was a short visit, Bryce made me feel comfortable enough to visit him again and again. And he made it clear that when I visited you, that was just as important to him. In fact, it may have even been more important to him as he wanted you to have support throughout this ordeal. I think it made him happy or content to know that you had a network of people who could help pick up the pieces if something happened with him.

I'm grateful to experience sadness and heartache to truly appreciate happiness. I know that in the world to come I will be greeted by my father and my brother with open arms. I know that the time that I am separated from them on this earth may appear to be long, but in reality, it will be such a short moment in time. I recall being about 7 years old and thinking that it would be FOREVER when I turned 18......if 45 goes this fast, I'll be 80 real soon!

Tammy, you and Bryce have taught me to not be afraid to reach out to others. I am not as good as you in this aspect, but I am willing to learn. Thank you for your example.

We ARE killing cancer.... and we ARE saving other Bryce Browns whom we may never meet because they will prevent melanoma...

November 20th is the day that we are eligible to give blood again. Is there a scout working on an Eagle who would like to organize another blood drive? We could do it anytime after the 20th. I'm in....I triple dog dare anyone to join me! There are other "Bryce Browns" out there who would like to spend more time with their families, and maybe even extend their life! Bryce would want to give that to them.

Barbara

Barbara--I'm in! My veins and I will be ready and waiting on the 20th, along with my 2 sisters. It would be a great project for the YW or Scouts. Any takers? Put in on your calendars!
-Tammy Brown

On Thursday, November 1, 2007 at 7:01 PM
Kendra said:

Tammy, this is on behalf of Jay and Yvonne Wirig. They just wanted to let you know that they were at the funeral, and they thought it was perfect. They especially loved you walking in in your red hat....

I'm their daughter-in-law...I just want you to know my family and friends have been following your story closely and we will continue to route for you! Your courage and tenacity are amazing. My son Parker and your Dani are the same age...I love watching her develop! Please continue to keep us posted!
Kendra

On Thursday, November 1, 2007 at 7:10 PM
Shawnee said:

Dear Tams,
You truly are the face of courage, kindness, faith, inspiration, and pure love! I've never seen such grace in the face of trial as I did at the viewing, funeral, and graveside of your sweet Brycey. It was an honor to be near you and your families for those few days...it made an indelible impression in my heart that will be treasured always.

This blog is inspired; MAKING A DIFFERENCE by encouraging organ and blood donation, the fight against cancer, tolerance, love, and so much more....thank you! May your fog lift, and sunshine break through.
Give yourself and sweet Dani a hug...I love you, Aunt Shawnee

On Thursday, November 1, 2007 at 7:23 PM
Dave said:

Tammy-

You have every right be be in a fog. You're excused. What you have done for Bryce, Dani, and the tons of other people following your blog since the beginning of this challenge is just amazing. I wish I could give it justice with words. Based on the testimony from others as well as my own, there is no way anyone who reads this thing can't emerge a better person. When my time comes, I can only hope that I can leave the kind of positive impression that you and Bryce have left on so many people. This blog shows us how we can all be better people and be a positive force for each other.

I regret that I was unable to be present at the funeral. I am very happy that my work was flexilble and understanding and gave me time off on short notice to visit. I can't wait to spend time with you and Dani and the rest of the family that I haven't seen in years! Carrie and I have been trying to think of some interesting things we can do to help keep your spirits up. I think we have some pretty good ideas. I am keeping them a secret right now though.

Please rest and take care of yourself. It's ok to be in a fog. Take your time. Don't keep anything in if you need to talk. Please don't. You can call me any time if you need to talk. We love you!!

-Dave and Carrie

On Thursday, November 1, 2007 at 8:35 PM
Jenni said:

Tammy,
I feel so blessed to have been on this journey with you. I have thought about you constantly, especially during Bryce's funeral, and it is very special for you to share the details with us since we couldn't be there. It sounds like it was a beautiful celebration of his life, and all who love him were surely touched by the care you took to make everything perfect.
I love the porsche story, how thoughtful! Bryce would no doubt have been very thankful that someone took such good care of you at such a difficult time! I wish you peace and happiness.
Jenni, wife of Brian, stage IV melanoma
The fight goes on...

On Thursday, November 1, 2007 at 9:32 PM
Brendan said:

Tammy,

You are handling all before you beautifully. I have been checking in with you everyday as our stories are so closely linked. It is obvious that HE is carrying you through this. It is ok to be "numb" as the Lord is at the wheel guiding your steps at this point. When He feels its right and you are ready He will return the wheel to you.

As we continue our battle with Melanoma here in Texas we would like help you continue Bryce's fight through our battle. If you see fit, feel free to link to our site through yours.

I would also like to send you something, so if you would, please send me your mailing address via my email.

God Bless,

Brendan Lyons (Houston Texas)

On Thursday, November 1, 2007 at 10:39 PM
Katie Higbee said:

So I agree with Barbara Stevens. We should do a blood drive, but after looking at Brendan's site, I noticed that his Julie was in need of a platelet transfusion. Maybe for those brave souls who conquered their fear of donating blood for Bryce, could muster up some more courage and donate platelets this time. From what I understand, it takes longer, but it is just as valuable as blood. Unfortunately, they won't do platelet donations at a blood drive, so we would have to sign up for a time to go. What do you say? We should pick a day, or week, and make an effort to give platelets! Let's keep on killing cancer!

By the way Tammy, you are so AMAZING! We're still here to support you however we can!

Katie

On Thursday, November 1, 2007 at 11:39 PM
Karlyn said:

I just left a comment on 100 days.

I wish I was as eloquent as these other posters.

I have been reading your blog for quite sometime, and I am very touched. You are such a strong woman. I am so sorry for you loss and I know I cannot say anything that helps except that you have really touched me and made me think a lot about my life. Thank you.

I really admire you strength.

On Friday, November 2, 2007 at 5:36 AM
Brendan Lyons said:

Thanks for your comments Katie. Yes, in addition to whole blood, platelettes are always in demand. The treatment that Julie is on for her Melanoma is extremely hard on the platelettes and marrow. FYI... leukemia patients are always in need of platelette donations as well.

I have given platelettes and as Katie said it is a bit more time consuming than giving whole blood. It takes about an hour to an hour and a half to complete. But after the initial needle stick (and trust me, I am more afraid of needles than anyone reading this blog but I got over it when I saw what Julie was going through and figured I could at least muscle through a needle), it is no more difficult than donating whole blood. The good news is that unlike donating whole blood which can only be done every 8 weeks, you can donate platelettes every 2 days! Essentially they take the blood out, remove the platelettes and return the rest of the blood to your body!

If anyone has any questions, please feel free to look me up on our blog (lyonsfamily.org) and ask... I will be sure to respond.

God Bless,

Brendan Lyons (Houston, Texas)

On Friday, November 2, 2007 at 7:13 AM
NancyGM said:

Tammy, I am an mpip-er. I am so very sorry for your loss. It sounds like your community and families did a beautiful job on the funeral. Sending hugs to you and your sweet baby.

On Friday, November 2, 2007 at 8:05 AM
Jamie said:

Tammy,
I absolutely love the picture of you with your Mom and sisters. It captures the love and support you have and I also love your red hat. I'll bet that made Bryce smile!! I think about you often- it was eleven years ago that my Dad was killed suddenly and I remember well the brain haze that you are now feeling. Not that losing a parent is at all the same as losing a spouse, just the mind-numbing emptiness and fog that you feel. It broke my heart to read that Bryce had previously lost a brother- my heart aches for his parents, sister and other brother. I hope that you are all well- you are all such incredible, amazing loving and kind people- I have learned so much from you all. Your cousin's website is awesome and has inspired me (along with you and Bryce) to open my heart and mind and be more loving and kind. Thank you. Give that sweet Dani a smooch for me- I love her chubby cheeks!
Jamie

On Friday, November 2, 2007 at 8:13 AM
Whitney Jensen said:
Tammy, I just wanted to let you know how sorry i am for your loss. My Grandma works for Wasatch Mountain Marketing and spoke with Bryce a lot through work. She told me about this page and I have it on my favorites here at work and check in daily. When I heard about your Bryce my heart dropped and I asked to go home early because I couldnt stop crying. I have never even met your family but I want you to know how much you, Bryce and your daughter have touched my heart! I think it is awesome you are keeping a page up like this not only to keep those close to you informed but all of us as well! I used to always go tanning and for the past 2 months or so that I have been reading this I have not gone once and plan on calling to cancel my unlimited tanning pass soon! I want you to know that you are truly making a difference and god put this path before you for a reason. Like I said, I have never even met you but I already can tell you are a women who can change lives and help save others! Dont give up your battle for cancer! I have a feeling you will make a difference in it one day and Bryce will be right on your side every step of the way! I am only 19 years old and I have lost 6 friends to cancer since I have graduated high school and 3 to suicide. My heart and mind feel at a loss right now and I feel I am on this earth for a reason and that I can change or do something to stop all of this from happening! I am too young to have lost this many friends like I have. I have one of my friends little 16 month boy fighing for his life in Primary Childrens hospital with Leukemia, as well. Its not just fair.. Its just not right. You are here and healthy for a reason as so am I. Please contact me and lets get together and meet sometime and fight this together. Lets not let cancer or suicide take one more persons life. Stay strong and know you have so much support! Thank you for the updates! Love Always- Whitney Jensen
On Friday, November 2, 2007 at 8:16 AM
Erin said:

Tammy and Dani,

Holy Cow, that was the most amazing funeral I have ever been too. I haven't felt the spirit that strong in a long time. It was fun to watch Dani as she was watch the choir sing. It seemed like she loved it, maybe she will be the next member in the family. Tammy you are such an example of love to me. I know when we get messages on are guessbook, I sometime wonder if the people are really telling the true or if they are just being nice. Well I want you to know that I am telling you the truth when I say that YOU and BRYCE have changed me for the better. Thank you for helping me understand once again what is important.

Danni you have the most wonderful father. The love that he showed to Me and My daughters Kendra and Maliyah was the most perfect love. He never asked any questions about if they are going to recieve another leg. He just was so kind to us even when he was feeling so bad. I know if I was feeling that way I probably wouldn't of been to nice. It was such an amazing experience to know your Daddy the short 100 days that I knew him. What a privlege. YOu have been left with the great legacy of your Dad. Alway remember that he will be with you ALWAYS.

We love you Bryce Tammy and Dani

May you both find strength in this very difficult time.

Love
Erin Kendra and Maliyah

On Friday, November 2, 2007 at 9:49 AM
Jill said:

Tammy,

My heart goes out to you and beautiful little Dani...There are no words of comfort during times of loss that truly heal, but know that you are a tremendous inspiration to so many of us - to keep on fighting no matter what the outcome and to trust that there is a purpose for that fight. I have no doubt that Bryce is looking down on you and falling in love with you all over again. I'm sure that he is thankful for every moment you have spent together and every word that was exchanged between. Take comfort in knowing that he will always be with you, holding your hand and even though it will feel different, he will be there with you experiencing every moment of little Dani's life.

We will miss him greatly around the clinic - he was such a light in the eyes of so many. Know that he blessed us all richly.

You will forever be in my thoughts and prayers and if there is anything that we can do, please let me know.

With much love,
Jill - DH

On Friday, November 2, 2007 at 1:21 PM
Sharie said:

Hi Tammy- You do not know me, I found your blog through Bryce's obit in the Salt Lake trib. I just wanted to tell you how much I admire your strength, courage and testimony of the church. As a young mother and wife myself I can't begin to imagine what you are going through. I have spent hours reading into your life and crying thinking of what you might possibly be feeling. I have had many challanges in my life including the loss of my brother and father but even with them I can't imagine your pain. Please keep your chin up, your smile and know that there are strangers out there praying for you, and looking up to you admiring your strengh. I am sure I am not the only one! I will continue to follow your story. Remember you now have a handsome angel watching over you. If he is anything like my father he will be there whenever you need him. God bless!

On Friday, November 2, 2007 at 2:30 PM
Barbara Stevens said:

Okay, someone answer this question for me: If I donate platelets one day, can I donate blood 2 days later???

Barbara

On Friday, November 2, 2007 at 4:32 PM
Brenda O. said:

Hey Tammy,
Sounds like you will be updating this site forever...there are so many following the story. Thanks for being so open and willing to share your thoughts and feelings about all you and your families have been through. You are setting such an amazing example for all of us. When trials fall upon us, we will be thinking about your grace over the past 100+ days.
I love the 100 Days of Love site. I have tried to comment...but it won't let me, even under anonymous. I'll have to have Lance help me out with that one. Hopefully It's a simple fix.
With much love,
brenda

On Friday, November 2, 2007 at 4:53 PM
Jenny said:

Hi Tam! I just wanted to drop a note and tell you I think about you everyday. I was out of town for Bryces funeral but I heard it was beautiful. I would have given anything to see you drive away in that Porsche.
You and Danika looked so great in your chicken outfit and that cute little devil. I hope that the new carpet and paint are going well. I just live up the street and can help with anything. I will watch Dani for you anytime- I would have to pinch her cheeks though.
I continue to be inspired by your strength. I am so grateful for Eternal Families!! Thank you for your example. Keep it up!! Luv Ya-Jenny

On Friday, November 2, 2007 at 5:39 PM
Brendan Lyons said:

Thanks for your comments Katie. Yes, in addition to whole blood, platelettes are always in demand. The treatment that Julie is on for her Melanoma is extremely hard on the platelettes and marrow. FYI... leukemia patients are always in need of platelette donations as well.

I have given platelettes and as Katie said it is a bit more time consuming than giving whole blood. It takes about an hour to an hour and a half to complete. But after the initial needle stick (and trust me, I am more afraid of needles than anyone reading this blog but I got over it when I saw what Julie was going through and figured I could at least muscle through a needle), it is no more difficult than donating whole blood. The good news is that unlike donating whole blood which can only be done every 8 weeks, you can donate platelettes every 2 days! Essentially they take the blood out, remove the platelettes and return the rest of the blood to your body!

If anyone has any questions, please feel free to look me up on our blog (lyonsfamily.org) and ask... I will be sure to respond.

God Bless,

Brendan Lyons (Houston, Texas)

On Friday, November 2, 2007 at 5:44 PM
Anonymous said:

Barbara...

Yes you can provided you have not donated "whole blood" within the previous 8 weeks. Platelettes regenerate very quickly in a healthy person.

On Friday, November 2, 2007 at 5:58 PM
Katie said:

To answer Barbara's question, you can donate platelets again after 7 days, but you'll have to wait 56 days until you donate whole blood again. If you want to read more about it, you can go to http://www.utahblood.org/facts/platelets.htm That's the ARUP blood site (utahblood.org).

On Friday, November 2, 2007 at 7:37 PM
jw said:

Dear Tammy, as children, Bryce and I were best friends and like brothers. Though I moved away at age 13 and hadn't seen nor spoken with him in the twenty years since, my heart is heavy with your loss. My cousin sent me this blog just before his passing and how it warms my heart to know that he had a choice daughter of Heavenly Father to be with him through his sojourn in life. Bryce was so blessed to have you and how blessed we all are to have the knowledge that brings us peace in times of tribulation.
God be with you.

On Friday, November 2, 2007 at 8:02 PM
anonymous said:

Tammy,

I firmly believe you are being called to write a book, and going hand-in-hand with that, to use that book as a platform to make personal appearances to warn young people against sun worship. You have been blessed with a gift that many strive for years to obtain through education, practice, and perseverance. But it comes to you naturally. You can write, girl! Use it. God has bestowed this gift of writing upon you for a reason. Now go do what you are called to do by God and in memory of Bryce. You're about to make a huge difference in many people's lives. You have been called. Good luck!

On Friday, November 2, 2007 at 8:16 PM
Loni said:

I made it to the service. Thanks for inviting all of us. I told Holly to tell you I was there, but knowing Holly and her ADD + Mommy Brain + Holly means that she likely forgot. I am in constant admiration of your strength, and I look forward to continue seeing you grow and be the strong woman I know you are. You have faced more in your 32 years than most of us could handle, and I have nothing but the highest respect and love for you and your family. While I only knew Bryce after you married him, I will miss him. He was an incredible person with a sweet spirit and personality. Every time I was around him, I couldn't help but be in a good mood. What a fortunate person we all are to have known him, to know you, and to know his beautiful baby. While his fight in this life is over, it continues through all of us, and I know you will do well in fighting. Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing your family, your story, your life, and your life with us through this website. Please know that you are constantly in my thoughts and I am sending you my positive energy.

On Saturday, November 3, 2007 at 8:34 AM
Jessi said:

I'm so sorry I was unable to be there this week. I'm glad to read about it here and catch up.

I just can't fathom losing my best friend and the father to my children. I would be in a fog as well. I'm sure some of it seems surreal.

This marks 21 years this month since I lost my own father, and it's still hard.

I wish I could write something eloquent, but I just wanted to let you know if you need anything, feel free to call/email me.

Take care of yourself and Dani. :)

On Saturday, November 3, 2007 at 10:50 AM
Barbara Stevens said:

Okay Everyone,

Here is the "scoop" on platelet donation.... Thanks, Katie, Brendan, and Anonymous for the information. I just got off the phone with a woman named Candy at this link:

http://www.utahblood.org/where/Where.htm

I asked about platelet donation and found out more information. She mentioned that even though donors can donate frequently (minimum of 5 days between donations) there is a limit of 24 times per year. So, it is best to donate on a regular basis of 2 times per month or every two and a half weeks if you wanted to do this on a regular basis.

I am thinking of getting a group together who would like to donate platelets. There are two beds in the Murray location and five beds in the U of U location. The Murray location could accomodate about 6-8 patients on a Saturday and the U of U location could accomodate about 20+. If we chose a day, we can schedule a couple weeks in advance and have the appointments set.

My thinking is that I would like to set up a platelet donation for a Saturday coming up and then have a blood drive a few weeks later. I may have a couple interested parties in my family who would like to plan it if nobody else does.

So, PLEASE write in and tell me if you're interested in setting up some group appts. Otherwise, I will just schedule it for myself. Saturdays work best for me because I teach during the week. But some of you may want to schedule a day during the weekday. Maybe we could have two separate days set up.

Candy told me that on any given day, they need 20-30 regular platelet donations to help the patients we have on the Wasatch front. And they only last 5 days. Babies need them, cancer patients, burn patients, etc. Chemotherapy patients lose their platelets so they are vital to their survival.

When Candy heard that a group might be interested in setting up a donation, she was speechless at first. She said that you were remarkable people to want to do that. I told her about Bryce and the blood drive (in 1 minute or less) and she was so grateful that a group of people would want to do this.

If you don't want to do it, please talk to your families and see if there is someone in your family who would want to. And then get back to me (or this post) and let us know how to proceed.

It takes about 2 hours for a platelet donation. They have video/dvd machines so you can pre select a movie you'd like to watch. It would be just like going to the movie minus the popcorn....(maybe we could bring popcorn!)

This is the time of year when we give thanks for what we have during Thanksgiving and honor the birth of Christ at Christmas and/or share a spirit of giving during this time. What a great opportunity to give the gift of life and share not only of our spirit, but our very blood with others who need it for their survival. We won't know their names or their stories, but if we did, we would want to help as much as we did when we knew about Bryce's condition. And some day, we may be the ones who are the recipients to this gift of life.

Someone told me once that during this holiday season that people were too busy to help others. Let's not get confused about priorities during our busy family holiday schedules. Let's find a time and JUST DO IT!

If you want to contact me via email instead of the post, my email is teachersfocus@aol.com

That way you can leave contact information necessary to making the appointments.


Barbara


On Monday, November 5, 2007 at 6:36 AM
Debbie said:

Tammy, thank you for the taking the time to post on Julie's blog with your support. It is very sad to her about your mourning and Bryce's funeral.

On Monday, November 5, 2007 at 10:57 AM
Danielle Paxton said:

I find strength in your words. I was informed about your website while in church yesterday and as I thought about my own worries this morning I thought to venture on to the website. Thank you for your strength and your determination to press on. I know it has brought power to lives around the world including my own. I have found a new desire to turn away from my cares and worries and to find hope. To change my attitude. Life is too short and wonderful to just give up when difficult times arise, as you have demonstrated. Thank you! My families prayers are with you.

Danielle Paxton, daughter of Dan & Diana Paxton

On Monday, November 5, 2007 at 2:00 PM
Tyler Raso said:

Hey Tammie and entire Brown family. What an incredible and inspiring group of people you all are. I am a second cousin of Bryce and am currently serving a mission in the Iowa Des Moines mission. I was so sorry to hear of Bryce's passing and I mourn with you all. I think of you often and pray for the Lord's choicest blessings upon you. I know Bryce is free from pain and is smiling down on you as he watches you continue his fight. I am proud of all of you.
Love,
Elder Raso

On Wednesday, November 7, 2007 at 9:34 PM
Shauna Palmer said:

Dear Tami:
It was with great sadness and regret that I read of Bryce's passing today. I saw you two on the news 2 weeks ago and did a double take and thought I "know" that guy from somewhere, and when you walked on camera I knew it was Bryce. I think of the days at ITC as the good old days and reminisce about those simpler times and the tissue bank. God bless you and baby Danika and her wonderful father and your brave hubby, Bryce Brown. With love, ~shauna p.

On Thursday, November 8, 2007 at 1:47 PM
Faith Wallis said:

Your strength and love and commitment are overwhelmingly contagious. God bless you! Count me in as a warrior!

On Friday, November 9, 2007 at 10:28 AM
Emily said:

Tammy, I am a part of the orchestra that plays for the Tabernacle Choir, and saw that your parents had written a note of thanks to the choir in a choir announcement regarding the passing of Bryce. They also included a plug for this beautiful website, so I thought I'd check it out, seeing that I was diagnosed with melanoma almost 5 years ago myself. I had no idea the impact of what you have written and how emotionally connected I would feel. Your photos are like poetry and your writing has enough splashes of humor that I just couldn't stop reading, even if it is so sad! Thank you for sharing your story and helping me refocus on what is important in life. I know you don't know me, but I wish for you strength as a friend would give. Plus, I think I'll be making my doctor appointment soon, given that I've always viewed my melanoma as a sort of sub-cancer- not the dangerous kind. You are such a great example of love.

On Saturday, February 9, 2008 at 1:21 PM
Lydia said:

Tammy, you are a beautiful person and I have only come to know you through our ward/neighborhood and this site. Thank you for your strong words and will. You have made a difference in my life with your love for your husband and daughter. I can tell you that Bryce is doing many great works where he is right now, and he will not leave you or Dani. I know the feeling of losing someone so precious... my best friend last 4th of July. But as I have learned, and want to teach you, your Bryce and my Katon are working around us. They will never leave us. I know how generic this sounds, because I have been told this many times since Katon's death, but I need you to learn it, as I have. There is a great book out there, you've probably heard of it, "The Birth We Call Death." I can't recall the author, but the title says it all. I wanted to keep this short... Sorry! Take care my dear. We don't know each other yet, but we are in the same neighborhood, so if you need ANYTHING, ask around for Lydia Bos and give me a call.

Love, Lyds

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