Evening Tam...

I've been trying to figure out what to write for over an hour. I can't begin to know what you and Bryce must be dealing with...you, emotionally and him, physically and emotionally. It has been so obvious to me when I've had the pleasure of spending time with you both how much the 2 of you love each other and were meant to be together. You've been blessed - together- with a beautiful, healthy baby girl...with all that you have together, how can this be happening?

I'd give anything to be able to provide you with some pearl of wisdom or "deep truth" that would ease your mind or provide some glimmer of hope. However, I fear there is no answer to this question. There is no justification or explanation for the mountain the 2 of you are facing. My prayer for you both is that God would see fit to heal Bryce and allow you live a long, happy life together. I also hope and pray you will be able to continue to be strong, both for Bryce and Dani.

You're an amazing woman Tammy and have so much potential. You've been through a lot in your short life and because of those experiences you will always have the ability to reach and help others because of the path your life has taken. Where ever this path ultimately takes you, I hope you are able to stay who you are today.

I'll be back in Denver late Sunday night and will come see you sometime Monday. If you can think of anything you need just let me know.

Take care girl and give "Big Boy Bryce" a hug from me! Tell him I said that where I come from people that care about each other hug...and that's all I have to say about that!

-dan-

Can you tell we are loved by so many people? My company, AlloSource, has been so supportive and caring. Several of my coworkers visited our hospital room to cheer us up, bring us gifts, and take our minds off the horrible reality in which we were immersed. Incredible wingmen. (Ace, Big Poppa, Ricky Bobby and his wife, Sugar Glider, and Loofa. I love you guys!)

I'm sitting in a recliner next to Bryce's hospital bed at University of Colorado Hospital's Anschutz Inpatient Pavilion, room 1120, where Bryce is sleeping and snoring. Today will be day three of chemotherapy. It has been a rough week, and every day seems to get a little bit scarier.

We visited the melanoma specialist Wednesday morning here in Aurora, Colorado. He looked at Bryce's chart, x-rays, scans and labs, then he looked Bryce right in the eye and said, "You might live for 2 months." It was a very frightening, sobering moment, where I couldn't breathe for what seemed like minutes. Bryce was so terrified.
He compared the original chest x-ray with Monday's PET scan, and determined that the tumors had almost doubled in size and number. In just 2 days!! The original plan, which included five biochemotherapy drugs, changed to three chemotherapy drugs. Bryce's lungs are too diseased to handle the other two drugs. The doctor thought he saw a small tumor on Bryce's heart on the PET scan, so he sent Bryce to have an echocardiogram. That test confirmed the tumor, but in two days the tumor had doubled in size. It was now 6 cm. Because of the heart findings, he checked Bryce into the inpatient oncology ward just to be safe. The chemo was scheduled to start the next day, Thursday.

Bryce had a CT scan of his chest Thursday morning to make sure the tumor had not eaten away the pericardium. If it had, the chemo could shrink the tumor and leave a hole in his heart. Thankfully, his heart was intact. Unfortunately, the tumor had grown to 11 cm--in just one day!! Bryce's poor heart is squashed pretty flat, but it's beating.

He has completed 2 days of chemo, and he feels nauseous and weak. He may lose his hair, which would look pretty cool. If things go well, we may go home Monday or Tuesday, only to return in 2 weeks for more treatments.
Both mommies are here, so we have good support. Bryce is so loved! Keep the prayers coming!!!

Good news! The radiation procedure today went well, and the doctor thinks with 90% surety that he nuked the tumor. We won't know for a few months though, because the tissues will swell a bit at first.

Bad news! The PET scan was today. They found more melanoma in his body. Starting from the top: brain, left supraclavicular lymph node, right humeral head, right deltoid, lungs, pericardium, T4, T7, inferior vena cava, both adrenal glands, an intra-abdominal mass, duodenum, jejunum, ileum, left acetabulum, both ischium and the vastus lateralis. Bryce doesn't mess around. If he's going to do something, he goes BIG. The lungs are still the "point of morbidity", so they're the scariest.
We fly into Denver tomorrow at 6:15 p.m., and we'll be there for a week. Bryce has to meet with the docs all day Wednesday, then start his treatment Thursday. He's so scared and he's feeling fairly sick now. It doesn't take much to make him very tired.
Please keep the prayers coming! We are relying on everybody else for support.

For all of you who haven't heard, Bryce's cancer has returned after being in remission for 7 years. We found out Tuesday and have been in a shocked, panicked terrified whirlwind ever since.
The first few days included chest x-rays, MRIs, a bronchoscopy, and numerous medical appointments.
Bryce had another MRI this afternoon to verify that the brain tumor is metastatic melanoma. It is. The pathology on the lungs is 100% melanoma. There are several hundred tumors. He will have a PET scan Monday morning to find out what else has melanoma, followed by radiation to his brain. They will screw a cage onto his head for 5 hours and zap him.
Rather than start chemo yesterday, we had some specialists look into the BEST facilities for treatment for Stage IV metastatic melanoma, and one is University of Colorado Cancer Center in Aurora, CO. We will fly to Denver on Wednesday and he will start treatments Thursday. Treatment is 5 days of inpatient biochemotherapy, every 3 weeks. He will be given 5 very toxic chemotherapeutic drugs, which will WASTE him, but he has no choice. He will be on morphine, Zofran and dopamine also. His treatment will end the following Monday, but we will stick around for a few days until he is well enough to travel. Then we'll be back 2 weeks later.
I have an uncle and aunt in Aurora who have offered their home and a car. I don't think we'll bring Dani for the first round, but Bryce may need to see her for hope's sake. My mom may fly out a few days later with Dani.
Thanks for all the support and prayers. We'll need them!
If you call me and get no answer, it's not because I don't like you-I am pretty swamped right now! Don't hesitate to call, though.

We're hanging in there tonight, and our spirits are pretty low. Bob Garff came over to give blessings, and it was nice. He spoke about hope a lot. My dad is on this cancer like white on rice, and has tossed around the idea of going to the University of Colorado Cancer Center for treatment, because they are part of some Stage IV metastatic melanoma studies. It hurts to even type the diagnosis. I look forward to talking with you.

Yeah, it's pretty shocking. I'm relying on his big stubborn head, synergistically combined with my biggish stubborn head, to beat this thing. He learned of the grim prognosis today, and is pretty upset. I'm in a state of numb shock. His diagnosis is stage IV metastatic melanoma. He has several HUNDRED spots on his lungs, and two large masses. The spot in his brain is about 8mm, in the right frontal lobe. He has a PET scan on Monday, which scares the crap out of me. His Oncologist is worried that it's everywhere. I'm so scared for him, because this fight is going to SUCK. He is dreading going through chemo again, fully knowing this time will be so much worse. I hope he uses Dani as his ray of hope, because he's feeling fairly hopeless right now.

Bryce is sleeping right now, after getting slammed with the reality of his situation today. We're so terrified and sick, I don't even know which way is up. The prognosis is very grim, but there are calls in to the John Wayne Cancer Center in Santa Monica. Perhaps there is a clinical trial going on? His brain tumor will likely be radiated next Monday after his PET scan. His lungs, though, are the main problem. They're FUBAR. One day at a time, right? The fact that he has gone from healthy to this stage in 2 months is horrifying-this cancer is extremely aggressive.

Bryce and I are at his oncologist's office, waiting for the official prognosis. His brain MRI was bad-there is a tumor in his right frontal lobe. There are large tumors in each lung, and dozens of small tumors. His bronchoscopy found obstructive tumors, all melanoma. He may start intensive chemo soon, and have radiation on his brain next week. He is very scared and sick right now, but we're holding on to any sliver of hope we can find. Our families are rallying around us, and we know our friends are pulling for him.

The chest x-ray shows numerous spots on Bryce's lungs, most likely metastatic melanoma. He has had shortness of breath, bloody phlegm and dizziness/blacking out when standing up. He will have a cranial MRI this afternoon, a bronchoscopy tomorrow morning and a PET scan Monday. Any chemo or radiation will probably be started before this weekend. He has put on his rose-colored lenses and I am trying to remove my shades. I'll keep you all updated.

Please pray for Bryce. He had a chest x-ray this morning and the results indicate possible (probable)metastases of his melanoma (7 years ago). I'm so scared and trying to be optimistic for him, but I need more strength than I think I have. I need all of you right now.

Meet our family. Bryce, Tammy and baby Danika. Bryce and I met 5 1/2 years ago, as both of us had just gone through terrible situations--a divorce for me, and a year of melanoma biotherapy for Bryce. We were both broken hearted and broken spirited, and we found each other through a series of coincidences. We became best friends, got married a year later, and our beautiful daughter Dani was born six months ago. Life was blissful.

Bryce went in for his annual cancer checkup three weeks ago, and everything looked good. He was told, "You're seven years out now! You're clean! You don't even need a CT scan this time!" Bryce mentioned that his lungs have been feeling a little congested and he has been a little short of breath, so the doctor ran a blood test. The test was a little concerning, so she ordered a chest x-ray.

The following posts will detail the ongoing saga...